


Something Borrowed, Something Booze

by Heart_Seoul_Soshi



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 09:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13097481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heart_Seoul_Soshi/pseuds/Heart_Seoul_Soshi
Summary: A drunken Mal and a drunken Evie decide that the next logical step in their non-existent relationship is to try their hand at holy matrimony.





	Something Borrowed, Something Booze

**Author's Note:**

> from an anonymous request on tumblr

Finals.  
  
Whoever invented the concept of finals made Maleficent look like a kitten groomer.  
  
But on the other hand, the saint who invented after-finals partying made Snow White look like she kicked puppies for a living.  
  
It was after-finals partying that brought AKs and VKs together at the edge of a rocky forest beach, reveling in music, a bright late afternoon sun, and a beachside bonfire. It was freedom and fun enough on its own, but Chad, rooting around in the trunk of his parked car, decided he wasn’t having fun enough.  
  
“What are you doing?” Doug asked, peering over his shoulder as Chad lifted a cooler out onto the ground.  
  
Four villain kid heads turned at the sound of Chad popping open the cooler, already knowing what was up.  
  
“…Anyone ever tell you you’re  _really bad_ at being an Auradon kid?” Mal teased, standing up from the sand and brushing off her pants.  
  
“What?” Chad shrugged, pulling a can of beer free from the ice. “It’s a party.”  
  
Jane, leaning back in the sand with Audrey beside her, wore frightfully wide eyes.  
  
“Mom would kill me,” she hurriedly denied, shaking her head.  
  
“Yeah, she would,” Audrey idly agreed, rising to her feet to go grab a can for herself.  
  
Carlos tugged free the stick he had thrown from Dude’s mouth, waving it around teasingly as he looked over his shoulder.  
  
“Where’d you even  _get_ alcohol?” he wondered.  
  
“Guess they have their ways here in Auradon,” Jay chuckled.  
  
“Doug?” Chad offered him a drink.  
  
“No thanks.”  
  
“Suit yourself,” the prince shrugged again, before turning to the VKs. “Guys?”  
  
Mal looked to Evie.  
  
“Want one?” she asked.  
  
Evie laughed to herself.  
  
“A princess isn’t supposed to drink something as crude and unrefined as beer,” she paraphrased the words of her upbringing. “But mom isn’t here. Just one won’t hurt.”

Sunset found Mal and Evie collapsed together in the sand, laughing uncontrollably at something one of them had just said. It could’ve been Evie. It could’ve been Mal. Neither of them could really remember.   
  
“Mal. Mal! Okay, no more,” Evie giggled, rolling and reaching across to pat Mal’s shoulder. “We gotta take a break and lay down.”  
  
“Don’t wanna lay down!” Mal loudly protested.  
  
“You’re already laying down,” Jay called out to them a little ways away from the bonfire.  
  
“…You see?” Mal now squeaked. “Already laying down.”  
  
She and Evie burst into more laughter.  
  
“Come on, let’s  _*hic*_ go for a walk,” Evie struggled to sit up just then, her world teetering unsteadily in her vision before she lost her balance and fell flat on her back.  
  
Mal rolled over, leaning over Evie and peering into her face with hazy eyes.  
  
“You good?” she questioned.  
  
“Mal, I am a  _princess_ ,” Evie spoke as if that answered the question, then made a more successful attempt at sitting up and getting to her feet.  
  
“…E, you are  _so_ tall,” Mal said in awe, tilting her head back to look at her.  
  
“She’s standing up,” Carlos also called from the bonfire, rolling his eyes at the girls’ drunkenness.  
  
Evie took Mal’s hands and tugged her up, the two of them swaying uneasily for a moment before they found their footing.  
  
“Guys!” Mal waved at the others. “Goin’ for a walk!”  
  
No one objected in spite of their impaired judgement and motor skills; Mal and Evie were only going to trundle up the shoreline, Lonnie and the boys could keep an eye on them the way they’d kept an eye on Chad before he’d passed out in the sand. Jay had a drink, but wasn’t drunk, and really didn’t want to deal with the lopsided swings he knew Mal would make at him should she not get her way, so free to go for a walk they were.  
  
Evie looped her arm through Mal’s, and the two of them rocked back and forth like boats as they left the music and the fire behind to shuffle along the water’s edge.  
  
“Look at the sky!” Mal gushed, throwing wide the arm that wasn’t around Evie’s.  
  
“Where?”  
  
“Up there.”  
  
“Oh!” Evie giggled, taking good notice of the sunset. “Isn’t Auradon the best?”  
  
“Not as best as you, best friend,” Mal grinned, lightly tugging Evie along.  
  
“M, I think you’re  _*hic*_  drunk.”  
  
“I think  _you’re_  drunk, you couldn’t even find the sunset,” Mal pointed out with a defensive pout.  
  
“I don’t need a sunset when I can just look at you and your pretty face,” Evie haughtily argued.  
  
“Pfft,” Mal brushed her words off.  
  
She took a backwards glance over her shoulder at the bonfire (an impressive feat in her state) and saw it getting smaller and smaller in the distance as they walked.  
  
“You think they know we left?” she asked, already having forgotten that she very obnoxiously said goodbye to the others.  
  
“You think they know you’re pretty?” Evie smoothly asked right back.  
  
“E, shhh,” Mal laughed, bringing a finger to her lips.   
  
“Who’s gonna hear me?”  
  
“Me!” Mal quickly said. “And then I’d have to tell you you’re  _beautiful._ ”  
  
She leaned into Evie, a risky move that sent the two of them veering off to the right along the sand.  
  
“I am, aren’t I?” Evie held her head high after they steadied themselves.  
  
“I could stare at you all day,” Mal wore a dopey grin. “Or listen to you talk all day. Or be around you all day.”  
  
She was beset by yet another round of the giggles, leaning her head on Evie’s shoulder.  
  
“You’re the best,” Mal firmly said. “I should marry you.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Or you should marry me. Either way.”  
  
“Ooh! We could marry each other!” Evie’s glazed over eyes lit up.  
  
“Even better!” Mal excitedly agreed, drawing them to a stop. “Okay, wait wait. If we were married, would I get to stare at you all day?”  
  
“ _*hic*_  Sure.”  
  
“And kiss you sometimes?”  
  
“All the time.”  
  
“‘Kay, then we’re  _definitely_  getting married.”  
  
Evie nodded. It made her stumble. Mal was there to take her by the arm and keep her from falling over.  
  
“'Kay, so when are we getting married?” Evie casually wondered.  
  
Mal narrowed her eyes like it was the most obvious answer in the world.  
  
“Right now, duh.”  
  
“Cool, right now. By who?”  
  
A frown joined Mal’s judging eyes.  
  
“…Oh yeah. Who,” she’d forgotten there needed to be a who.  
  
The sun dipped lower beneath the horizon as Mal thought, slowly melting the reds and oranges to blues and blacks. The bonfire behind them was now like a beacon in the distance.  
  
“Chad!” Mal suddenly blurted.  
  
“How d'you figure?”  
  
“Because he’s a prince, and like the captain of a ship has the power to marry people on water, then the prince of a kingdom can marry people on land!” Mal cheerily explained.  
  
“Doesn’t sound right.”  
  
“It’s right, c'mon.”  
  
Mal took Evie by the hand and urgently pulled her along, trekking over their own shoeprints in the sand back the way they came. The others had been watching them from the warmth of the fire, making sure neither of them drunkenly stumbled into the sea (Mal especially) and weren’t surprised when they came storming over.  
  
“Hey, throw some water on Chad,” Mal tried to snap her fingers. It didn’t work out too well.  
  
“We can only dream,” Carlos chuckled, scratching Dude’s tummy.  
  
“C'mon, we need him awake so he can marry us,” Mal pressed on.  
  
“He’s not your type,” Jay cooly said, taking the girls and their wacky intoxication completely in stride.  
  
“Not  _us_  us, me and Evie!” Mal argued, pouting again.  
  
Everyone who was still sober enough looked up at Mal and Evie with a grab bag of expressions and reactions. Jane, although wide-eyed with surprise, couldn’t help but laugh with the fact that these words weren’t coming so much from her friends as they were from two walking cans of beer.  
  
“You two want to get married?” she asked.  
  
“After zero dates, zero kisses, and zero admissions of any sort of feelings?” Jay added.  
  
“I have feelings for Evie!” Mal said in her defense.  
  
“Like what?” Audrey skeptically demanded, a little buzzed.  
  
“Like she’s pretty.”  
  
“That’s not a feeling,” Audrey shook her head.  
  
“ _I feel_ like she’s pretty,” Mal clarified.  
  
“I am pretty pretty though,” Evie drunkenly mused.  
  
“Look, just hurry up and wake Chad!” Mal snapped.  
  
Doug drew his knees up, eyeing the girls almost pitifully.  
  
“Chad is out cold. Nothing’s waking him up right now,” he told them.  
  
“Audrey!” Evie blurted. “If a prince can marry people, then why not a princess?”  
  
Lonnie looked confused, watching Mal and Evie from over the top of the fire.  
  
“Who said a prince could marry people?”  
  
Evie gasped, dramatically drawing a hand to her mouth.  
  
“They can’t??” she sounded as if the world was coming down around her.  
  
“E! Evie, don’t worry!” Mal turned and cupped Evie’s face in her hands. “We can still get married. You’ll be Mrs. Mal and I’ll be Mrs. Evie.”  
  
Doug and Lonnie turned their heads away to snicker.  
  
“Why exactly do you want to marry Evie? Besides the three cans of beer, that is,” Carlos wondered.  
  
“Because she’s  _Evie!!_ ,” Mal practically yelled, whirling around to face the others and clasping Evie’s hand. “She’s beautiful, and wonderful, and she’s warm like the sun, and I like to hug her and have her hug me and her hair is  _so_ soft, you guys. Like, you have no idea. She’s all smart and wise and I can tell her anything and she’ll always have the right advice for me, plus sometimes I really wanna kiss her or just curl up next to her and fall asleep 'cuz she’s my Evie. I love my Evie, you guys.”  
  
Three cans of beer or not, everyone around that fire knew that despite the rambling run-ons, that was 100% Mal talking.  
  
Evie pulled her hand free to throw her arms around Mal and smother her in the tightest of hugs.  
  
“And I love my Mal!” she gushed. “My beautiful Mal is so soft, even if she doesn’t want anyone to think so, and her smile makes me happy and she’s so huggable. Like right now! She’d move mountains for me and I’d  _*hic*_  move mountains for her and there’s no one else in this kingdom or any other kingdom as perfect as her. Why would I want to spend my life with anyone else??”  
  
They rocked back and forth on their feet as they hugged, tighter and tighter and swaying further and further to the side until they finally just toppled over into the sand, once again finding themselves rolling over onto their backs with laughter.  
  
“Evie, will you marry me?” Mal reached out and tapped Evie’s hand.  
  
“Yes, I will. Will you marry me?”  
  
“Of course I will!” Mal said right away. “But I guess we gotta do it right. You need a dress, and a ring, and…”  
  
Mal’s giggle just then was absolutely endearing, and her eyes started to fall closed.  
  
“…And you’re already something blue,” she said sleepily.  
  
“I’m already something blue,” Evie nodded, eyelids growing heavy as well.  
  
Mal wrapped her pinky around Evie’s, the haze in her head growing heavier and heavier.  
  
“…Night night, Mrs. Mal,” Mal murmured.  
  
“Night, Mrs. Evie.”  
  
Finally, they joined the ranks of Chad and passed out around the fire.  
  
“…Think they’ll remember any of this in the morning?” Jane asked.  
  
Carlos and Jay wore small, knowing smiles as they watched them sleep.  
  
“Hope so,” Carlos told her.  
  
Jay nodded in agreement.  
  
“It’s long overdue.”


End file.
